Safe Enough And Why You Need To Understand This to Live Well With Allergies

“Life is uncertain. Add allergies into the mix, and uncertainty can feel overwhelming. The key is not removing risk but learning how to feel Safe Enough.”

Uncertainty and Anxiety

Did you know that uncertainty is one of the biggest contributing factors in anxiety?

If we think about it, our brains have the job of protecting us from danger, and when something is uncertain, we simply do not know what will happen.

When we do not know what will happen, our brain tries to guess. It will do this based on past experiences, but often it is only guesswork. This can quickly spiral into imagining a whole host of possible scenarios and a domino effect of “what ifs.”

There will have been many times in your life when something was uncertain, usually during change or when something new was happening. For example, going to university, starting a new job, going on a first date, moving to a new place, or receiving health news. Generally, as we get older, we gain more experience of the fact that we cannot control uncertainty. Instead, we become better at tolerating it and recognising that while things gradually become less uncertain, a new uncertainty will soon follow.

If you become a parent, a whole new world of uncertainty opens up. Having children means living with unpredictability, and if we add allergies into the mix this uncertainty multiplies further.

With uncertainty comes anxiety, and with anxiety comes the urge to control. But here is the problem: there are so many things we simply cannot control. If we fall into this cycle, we only maintain anxiety and create a life filled with worry.

So, what is the solution?

This is where I use the term “Safe Enough”.

What is “Safe Enough”?

“Safe Enough” means accepting that nothing in life is completely risk free and that everything we do carries some level of risk. Most risks are so small we do not even think about them. Other risks are things we encounter so often that we know we have the skills to cope, such as getting in a car or crossing a busy road.

Ultimately, it is not helpful to live life in constant fear of what could happen. Instead, we need to accept that some risk is always present and then focus on minimising risk and increasing our confidence and skills to manage situations when they do go wrong.

I am not talking about taking huge uncomfortable risks where your allergies are concerned, and “Safe Enough” will look different for everyone. But it is about looking at where you are now, where you want to be, and the things you want to do in life. From there, we can gently question whether you need to adjust your “Safe Enough” position.

Then we can decide on the steps needed to feel “Safe Enough” in line with your goals and actively choose to let go of the uncertainty and the things that are not in your control.

“Safe Enough” is not perfect. There is always space for doubt, but it is enough. This is all you can do, and it does not make you a bad person or a bad parent.

Trying to prepare for every possible outcome and scenario is not helpful or sustainable. It draws more attention to risk and uncertainty, and it takes us away from all the things happening in our lives right now.

“Safe Enough” is at the core of my work in supporting allergy anxiety. It is also a central part of The Allergy Anxiety Method ®, my signature method which I have designed to be the most accessible and affordable way to access the support you need to manage allergy anxiety.